I had dinner with a Canadian friend of mine who has been living in Dublin for four years now. We were talking about upcoming visits home. She's going home for a week in May as she found a really cheap ticket on a charter. Unfortunately, I couldn't go at that time because I have a big event coming up the first weekend in June and can't take the two weeks before the event off. There is no point in me going home before the end of May because that's when my brother and his wife are having their first baby. I want to see the baby, not see her hugely pregnant.
Last week, I asked for the second week of June off. The ticket isn't so cheap anymore, but it's still reasonable - especially considering the time of year. Well, I was turned down. I kind of knew I might be, as I knew my coworker was going to hand in her notice yesterday and I would be leaving at a really busy time - it always is immediately post-event. I was, however, hoping that my bosses would be optimistic that my coworker would be staying on after all and let me have the week off. Now that my coworker is definitely quitting, I have little chance of taking time off before the end of the summer. I'm going to ask for 10 days off at the end of June and hopefully come home for Canada Day weekend - the price of the ticket is still under EURO 500. However, if I'm turned down for those days, I'm stuck because flights are really expensive from then until September. I'm kind of bummed about that. I really want to see the baby, and I don't know that I can go home in September. I'm still thinking about moving over to the UK in a couple of months, and once I do that, the travelling will have to come to an end for awhile. It will be more expensive over there at first and I might go over there without a job lined up. I wanted to get the visit in before I moved.
Our discussion turned towards the dilemma that I think many expats face. What to do with one's vacation time - do you go home every chance you get, or do you take advantage of where you are and travel as much as possible while you have the chance? I know that to my friends and family back home, I'm going to start sounding like a spoiled European here. I have four weeks vacation a year, not to mention all those bank holidays, and yet, it's just not enough. I am conscious of the fact that I'm very lucky to have this much time. If I were in Canada, I would be slogging it out for eight paltry statuatory holidays and 10 vacation days a year. There would be no question about what to do with my whopping ten days if I were an expat in Canada - if I were lucky enough to be able to take them all at once.
But I digress. When I asked my friend how long she was going home for, she said just a week. I too, was planning to go for a week - well 10 days to get two weekends at home. I thought about going for longer, but then I would be using up all my vacation time on going home, when I factor that I will probably go home for two weeks at Christmas. Yet, by choosing to go home in June and again at Christmas, I'm saying no to a family cottage weekend in August, a friend's wedding in September, and Thanksgiving. I'm also saying no to a longer vacation somewhere else. Though I have been taking advantage of my proximity to Continental Europe by taking a few extended weekends, I have not done a big trip over here yet - except when I went to Portugal for a week last year. So far in 2005, I have been to Switzerland, Amsterdam and Tuscany for 4-5 days each. Next weekend for the May bank holiday (yup another one), I'm going to the West of Ireland. I'll be in London and Belfast sometime next month, and in June I'm going to Monaco and the South of France for a few days. Mind you, I'm going to London and Monaco for work, but I'm staying over through the weekend each time to take advantage of the fact that the company is paying for my flight. However, though I'm great with the weekend trips, the fact that I'm going home twice this year precludes the possibility of taking a longer trip here. I can get to Vilnius or Riga for less than EURO 300, and I would love to do a trip through the Baltic states and also on to St. Petersburg. Or perhaps a trip through the Balkans - Slovenia, Croatia, and Serbia. With the expansion of the EU, there are more flights than ever to many Eastern European cities like Budapest, Prague, Warsaw, and Bratislava. There are also plenty of cheap flights to Bankok from London. I have so many options over here that I wouldn't have if I was living back home.
However, there is a definite draw to visiting home. I definitely have roots there, and I get excited at the thought of seeing familiar faces and catching up with everyone. I think about all the old haunts that I would visit, and how I would get my fill of things that I miss. I'm also conscious of the fact that as I am here longer, it's harder to keep up with everyone and everything back home. It's so easy to let it all slip, and because I'm the one that's not there, it's up to me to keep up the relationships. I don't want to return home in a couple of years to find all my friendships have been dissolved and everyone has moved on because I failed to keep them up while I was away.
Am I being selfish to want it both ways?
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Hey Ell, it's Kath. You're not selfish for wanting it both ways. It's perhaps the one solid advantage to still being single into your thirties. Every friend I have who's married with kids spends every spare holiday with one family or the other. They are ALL envious of the "me time" I have and give me daily advice about what I should be doing with my time to myself.
Vacations are SO expensive (the reason I vacation at my parents' place) so why, if you're already over there and able to cut the price in half, wouldn't you take advantage of it? Your family will still be here when you decide to come home and your friends will still be here too if they're real friends. So, I'll see you later, OK?
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